Rat Hole Stadium, Skavenburg (Dwarven Associated Press) May 10, 1995: There is no joy in Ratville tonight. Not even a pile of rotten fruit and fish bones wrapped in an old newspaper could lift the spirits of the low down Skaven fans. The mighty Drim's Reapers have left crumpled masses of rodent flesh on the home town gridiron. In a stunning display of power and determination the Dwarves have claimed victory on opening day. The victory included six Skaven casualties two of which were fatal. The Tunnelling Terrors, as the Skaven team called themselves, are a little less fearsome and a little less numerous.
The Dwarves won the opening coin toss and events went their way from there. The Skaven team had a beautiful kick, burying the ball deep in Dwarf territory. However, it was recovered by the Dwarf runner, Borox, who quickly completed a pass to team captain "Man-Mauler" McGirk. Erik, the Elf-Eater, set the tone for the match by injuring Skaven storm vermin "The Pounder" in the opening drive. It was the first of his three casualties for the day. McGirk stormed up the side line through the holes opened by his blockers. Dwarf fans had a moment of tension when, the Skaven gutter runner, Wizzy Jim, slipped through the line and hit McGirk. The Dwarf blitzer shook off the hit and assisted Erik as he flattened the Skaven. Erik's hit was so solid that it knocked the rat player from his feet and into his grave. He was the first of the two Skaven fatalities. McG irk continued untouched to the end zone for the first score of the game.
The Dwarves kicked off to the Skaven. The kick was taken by Wet Nose the Skaven quarterback. He made a quick hand-off to the gutter runner, Speedy Mole. Mole dodged through a gap in the line and raced into the Dwarven back field. The defenders plodded after the run ner. Dwarf lineman Jumbo the Terror caught him at the ten yard line and brought him down. The ball bounced loose. Borox scooped it up and tossed a perfect pass to Dwarven Troll-Slayer Torok the Toothless. Torok demonstrated his renowned ball handling skill by promptly dropping the pass. The ball changed hands twice more without any decisive outcome before time ran out on the first half.
The second half started with the Dwarves kicking to the Skaven. Wet Nose took the kick close to the line of scrimmage. The Dwarves surged over the line in a mad pass rush. Nose was quickly surrounded by a crazed torrent of bearded blitzers. However, the all out rush had left Speedy Mole wide open in the Dwarven end of the field. The Skaven fans leapt to their feet as a touchdown seemed assured. Nose's arm came back ready to show off his famed quick release. Unfortunately, the pressure from the rush was too intense. Nose fumbled the ball.
The speedy (for a Dwarf) runner Borox raced in and grabbed the loose ball. He was quickly surrounded by a phalanx of the disciplined Dwarven linemen. In a bone crushing advance they marched down the field and into the end zone. The score was now 2-0 and time was running out on the buck-toothed hometown team.
The Dwarves kicked off again. Once more Wet Nose recovered the ball. Speedy Mole quickly scurried along the side line trying to break into the open again. However, this time he was covered by Mad Dog Garok. The berserk Troll Slayer pinned the beady eyed runner along the side line. Then in a crazed rush threw him into the stands. The Dwarven spectators in the area speedily dispatched the speedy rodent. One can only hope that his body will eventually be returned to his family.
Nose seeing that his best receiver was now a throw rug, handed the ball to the only remaining runner, the aptly named Furball. Furball, showing a determination not normally associated with a race that feeds on garbage, raced past the Dwarven line and deep into the backfield. One stout Dwarven lineman hit the greasy Skaven but could not hold on. Showing the effectiveness of clawed feet and whiskers, he scurried past two defenders into the end zone for the first Skaven score.
The two minute warning sounded as the Skaven kicked off to the Dwarves. Borox took the kick and completed another pass to McGirk. The Dwarves then showed the effectiveness of their running game and ground out the remaining time and Skaven.
In summarizing their win and his three casualty game, Erik said "Well, what do you expect from a race that is related to mice and squirrels?"
Kevin "Iron Fist" Mooney reporting